The boy who pulls her hair is the same as the girl who hits the boy: she wants his attention and doesn't know how to express it any other way. Apart from that, I agree.
However, most abusive men don't semaphore it. The ones to be most wary of are handsome, and charming, and liked by everyone.
I'm trying to work out how to avoid having a funeral for my father because I can't face all the women telling me how wonderful he was.
The boy who grabs your breast in fifth grade will continue to make poor choices and be accidentally shot to death by a friend in his sophomore year of high school.
The girl who tells you it's "cute" when boys make sexual comments about you and flip your skirt up to see your underwear (it's a Catholic school and there's a uniform) and it means they "liiiike you" will go missing for three days in seventh grade and eventually turn up in a hotel room with a twenty-something man.
This is important for its own sake of course but I feel like there's an important coda for men here:
Men reading this might feel attacked, for behaving like this as boys, for feeling that it is being uncharitable. Not all men etc.
But no, this is a *kindness* towards boys. A boy who pulls hair to get attention, who hears "boys will be boys" about this behavior, for whom it is positively reinforced, *will* get worse. He will escalate. He will become exactly what is predicted here.
@glyph 👍 yep, we had this exchange on another thread and there's all this toxic toughness we need to learn not to teach. To both boys and girls. Kids model what they see so it starts with adults... you see where the problem is?...it takes generations. But we'll get there.
Yes, but as we do, let's also communicate a corresponding message thrice as often to boys-for they are at even greater risk of failing to learn early and often that being human means learning to respect the lives & bodies & otherness of others.
StaringAtClouds has moved
Als Antwort auf Vee • • •#AltText 1/2
Tell girls that the boy who pulls your hair will be the man who pushes your boundaries
The boy who makes fun of you will be the man who dismisses your feelings
The boy who uses "like a girl" as an insult will be the man who is a misogynist
The boy who doesn't take "no" will be the man who rapes you
StaringAtClouds has moved
Als Antwort auf StaringAtClouds has moved • • •#AltText 2/2
Tell girls the truth; when a boy is mean it doesn't mean he likes you, it means he's mean
Because girls aren't told how boys enact violence, only to be women who are trained to endure it
-Farida D. @farida.d.author
Vee
Als Antwort auf StaringAtClouds has moved • • •StaringAtClouds has moved
Als Antwort auf Vee • • •Your welcome
Hope you had a good Christmas ❤️
Vee
Als Antwort auf StaringAtClouds has moved • • •@staringatclouds
Right backatcha! Hope Santa brought you the goodies! 🎁
maraMAU
Als Antwort auf Vee • • •child of baphomet
Als Antwort auf Vee • • •Vee
Unbekannter Ursprungsbeitrag • • •@grrrr_shark
👍
Maggie Maybe
Als Antwort auf Vee • • •Vee
Als Antwort auf Maggie Maybe • • •Richard Quinn
Als Antwort auf Vee • • •The boy who pulls her hair is the same as the girl who hits the boy: she wants his attention and doesn't know how to express it any other way. Apart from that, I agree.
However, most abusive men don't semaphore it. The ones to be most wary of are handsome, and charming, and liked by everyone.
I'm trying to work out how to avoid having a funeral for my father because I can't face all the women telling me how wonderful he was.
Karen E. Lund 💙💛
Als Antwort auf Vee • • •The boy who grabs your breast in fifth grade will continue to make poor choices and be accidentally shot to death by a friend in his sophomore year of high school.
The girl who tells you it's "cute" when boys make sexual comments about you and flip your skirt up to see your underwear (it's a Catholic school and there's a uniform) and it means they "liiiike you" will go missing for three days in seventh grade and eventually turn up in a hotel room with a twenty-something man.
Vee
Als Antwort auf Karen E. Lund 💙💛 • • •Glyph
Als Antwort auf Vee • • •This is important for its own sake of course but I feel like there's an important coda for men here:
Men reading this might feel attacked, for behaving like this as boys, for feeling that it is being uncharitable. Not all men etc.
But no, this is a *kindness* towards boys. A boy who pulls hair to get attention, who hears "boys will be boys" about this behavior, for whom it is positively reinforced, *will* get worse. He will escalate. He will become exactly what is predicted here.
Vee
Als Antwort auf Glyph • • •EndemicEarthling
Als Antwort auf Vee • • •Vee
Als Antwort auf EndemicEarthling • • •@EndemicEarthling
Absolutely.