+++ Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++

Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy, but they were listening in gibberish.

Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"Bingeley bingeley beep!"

Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

Nomes live ten times faster than humans. They're harder to see than a high- speed mouse. That's one reason why most humans hardly ever see them. The other is that humans are very good at not seeing things they know aren't there. And, since sensible humans know that there are no such things as people four inches high, a nome who doesn't want to be seen probably won't be seen.

Terry Pratchett, Wings

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

- I USHERED SOULS INTO THE NEXT WORLD. I WAS THE GRAVE OF ALL HOPE. I WAS THE ULTIMATE REALITY. I WAS THE ASSASSIN AGAINST WHOM NO LOCK WOULD HOLD.
- "Yes, point taken, but do you have any particular skills?"

Death consults a job broker
Terry Pratchett, Mort

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

As far as I'm aware I'm not specifically banned anywhere in the USA, and am rather depressed about it. Surely some of you guys can do *something?*

Terry Pratchett, alt.books.pratchett

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"Actors," said Granny, witheringly. "As if the world weren't full of enough history without inventing more."

Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

And, while it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to be living in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of them merely got you invited to the very best social occasions.

Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards because a refusal often offends, I read somewhere."

Terry Pratchett, Mort

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

They stared at them. Staring is one of the few things frogs are good at. Thinking isn't.

Terry Pratchett, Wings

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

In the Beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

He nodded to the troll which was employed by the Drum as a splatter [footnote: Like a bouncer, but trolls use more force].

Nobby takes Carrot for a drink in The Mended Drum
Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

The one positive thing you could say about the bread products around him was that they were probably as edible now as they were on the day they were baked. *Forged* was a better term. Dwarf bread was made as a meal of last resort and also as a weapon and a currency. Dwarfs were not, as far as Vimes knew, religious in any way, but the way they thought about bread came close.

Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

For Magrat, stepping into a man's bedroom was like an explorer stepping on to that part of the map marked Here Be Dragons.

Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"'E's fighting in there!" he stuttered, grabbing the captain's arm.
"All by himself?" said the captain.
"No, with everyone!" shouted Nobby, hopping from one foot to the other.

Making Friends and Hitting People
Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at."

Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

For Magrat, stepping into a man's bedroom was like an explorer stepping on to that part of the map marked Here Be Dragons.

Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"Luck is my middle name," said Rincewind, indistinctly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad."

Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

Death was Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

Terry Pratchett, Strata

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

It's a metaphor of human bloody existence, a dragon. And if that wasn't bad enough, it's also a bloody great hot flying thing.

Captain Vimes ponders his problems
Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage."

Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

Nanny Ogg quite liked cooking, provided there were other people around to do things like chop up the vegetables and wash the dishes afterwards.

Home Pragmatics
Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the cat was getting.

Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

- "What're quantum mechanics?"
- "I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose."

Terry Pratchett, Eric

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

"Baths is unhygienic," Granny declared. "You know I've never agreed with baths. Sittin' around in your own dirt like that."

Taking personal hygiene to new limits
Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

The labyrinth of Ephebe is ancient and full of one hundred and one amazing things you can do with hidden springs, razor-sharp knives, and falling rocks.

Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

Rumour is information distilled so finely that it can filter through anything. It does not need doors and windows -- sometimes it does not need people. It can exist free and wild, running from ear to ear without ever touching lips.

Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

Oh dear, I'm feeling political today. It's just that it's dawned on me that 'zero tolerance' only seems to mean putting extra police in poor, run-down areas, and not in the Stock Exchange.

Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett

#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld

Hoy recordamos a nuestro querido, brillante, mordaz e inglés (no se puede tener todo) #TerryPratchett.

Y os dejo aquí un regalo de uno de sus libros, que nunca nunca me canso de recomendar:

"No se puede ir por la vida construyendo un mundo mejor para la gente. Sólo la gente puede construir un mundo mejor para ellos.
De lo contrario, no se trata más que de una jaula". Brujas de viaje.

#SpeakHisName #Pratchett