Ministry Investigates Seasonal Gratitude Syndrome
Ministry Busts ₹0 Heroism Scam
Following an extensive investigation, the Ministry has uncovered a disturbing pattern.
People who are not currently raising children keep describing parenting as the greatest sacrifice.
Parents were interviewed.
Most asked,
“Can we make this quick? Someone has spilled something.”
One father was asked,
“Do you feel heroic for always putting your child first?”
He replied,
“Heroic? I thought that was the job description.”
Investigators found that the moment a person becomes a parent, words like heroism, sacrifice and selflessness quietly disappear.
Their vocabulary is immediately replaced by:
“Did he eat?”
“Where’s the water bottle?”
“Who gave the toddler a permanent marker?”
The Ministry therefore concludes that parenting is not a favour performed for children.
It is simply what happens when love stops making announcements and starts packing lunchboxes.
Social media may continue calling them heroes.
Parents will continue calling it…
Tuesday.
Issued in public interest by the Ministry of Satirical Affairs.
